


Egodystonic

by faithinthepoor



Series: Desperate Housewives [32]
Category: Desperate Housewives
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1963458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set post It Wasn’t Meant to Happen</p>
            </blockquote>





	Egodystonic

**Author's Note:**

> Follows [Unseemly](http://archiveofourown.org/works/668467), [The Theory of Everything](http://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor), [Here There Be Dragons](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673221), [Somnambulist](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673229), [Wishin’ and Hopin’](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673233), [Nosology](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673238), [Boundary Violations](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673240), [Fractals](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673250), [Windmill Tilting](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673255), [Ambitendency](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673262), [Heisenberg Territory](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673272), [The Illusions of Prisms](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673700), [Keratitis Sicca](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682311), [Schrödinger’s Realm](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682327), [Chiaroscuro](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682358), [Altered Trajectories](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682370), [Elegiacs](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1952136), [Tachyphylaxis](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1952244), [Verismo](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953516), [Forced Perspective](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953594), [Lex Talionis](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953624), [Repetition Compulsion](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953663), [Cardioid Geometry](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953693), [Mereology](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1959777), [Battlelines](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960131), [Enteropathy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960167), [Abnegation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960179), [Lichtenberg Figures](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960806), [Paradoxes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960851), [Plastic Deformation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1963329) and [Hawthorne and Rosenthal Dilemmas](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1963419)

The words on the pages before her are beginning to shift and blur, she has recently discovered that if she looks at them askance she can get them to coalesce into a series of meaningless blobs. It’s hard to estimate the last time she did something productive but she can’t imagine that it was in the last hour, unless she counts the doodle she drew of Ed screaming in pain as sharp objects pierced every orifice of his body. It is pointless her being here, she is beyond the ability to function and the only purpose she is serving is as a security blanket for her boss, she could cheerfully strangle the minion that pointed out that this was one of her roles because now it’s all that she can think about and her resentment has rocketed off the scale. 

Receiving the IMs from Tom was a welcome distraction for so many reasons. It allowed her to appear to be busy whilst being anything but, it allowed her to feel that Ed can prevent her from going home but that he can’t take her life away and, most of all, it allowed an outlet for her frustrations with regard to Bree Van de Kamp. Her anger at Bree is somewhat hypocritical but she has come to accept that most of her feelings about the woman fall into that category and it no longer bothers her. They are both guilty of flip-flopping when it comes to their relationship, calling it off and then caving in, unable to be together but unable to be apart and even though she recently decreed that she couldn’t continue with things it doesn’t change the way she feels about Bree, doesn’t stop her thinking about her or imaging scenarios in which they could be together. She always reacts to Bree’s presence, as though in her absence she has forgotten just how beautiful she is and each and every time she is confronted with Bree in the flesh it takes her breath away. This is just a symptom of lust and she tries to tell herself that it’s not important but it’s hard to think rationally when you are repeatedly deprived of oxygen.

Bree looked beautiful today and though she didn’t think about it as the time she now wonders if sitting on the arm of the chair, comforting Edie, was a protective measure. It certainly gave her something to do, it’s hard not to focus on Edie, Edie has practically made drawing attention to herself a profession. It probably had the added bonus of making Bree jealous but she realises that Bree may not feel that way, it may not even bother Bree to see her deliberately touching another woman. She really doesn’t have any idea how Bree feels about her. She wants to think that Bree feels the same way that she does, Bree claims to love her and she was certain that it was a big thing for Bree to sleep with her, but those things can’t be true, if Bree felt the way that she does she couldn’t possibly even look at Peter, let alone actively pursue him. 

She surprised herself with her little diatribe about guilty parties in extramarital affairs but she did feel a sense of self-righteousness due to the fact that even though she has committed adultery, technically she is no longer the other woman. Since Rex’s death that role belongs to Bree alone but Bree seems unaware of, or at least unconcerned by this distinction, and managed to cast her own aspersions on the nature of such women. She has to believe that Bree is insightless because she doesn’t want to think that she has made a rod for own back by pointing out that Bree is the other woman, as much as she can’t be with Bree in the current setting she still holds out hope that they will find a resolution and that they have a future together. That future seems extremely distant given that she couldn’t even get Bree to talk to her today. She had to go to work and therefore did not have the luxury of simply outlasting the other guests, it really was rather inconsiderate of Edie to have a breakdown and call an emergency meeting of the woman of Wisteria Lane at such an inconvenient time. She wasn’t subtle about trying to orchestrate a way to get Bree alone but she wasn’t successful either, the only high point of the whole occasion was listening to Gabby criticise infidelity heedless to the major structural damage that she was causing to her little house of glass.

The universe must believe that she needs to be punished for thinking about Bree while engaging in some cyberforeplay with Tom because it finds a way to do so in spectacular fashion. She can imagine The Fates completely disregarding the thread of life, willingly foregoing their vigilance for a while in favour of mocking her current predicament. She would prefer that they were paying attention because she would be more than happy for Atropos to cut the thread as right now death is a preferable option to ever looking Ed in the eye again. She would rather be anywhere else on the planet than in Ed’s office and she has no idea where the desire to explain and apologise came from because she certainly isn’t in support of it. To her surprise Ed seems only too eager to forgive her but the relief is short lived, giving way to further horrors as her boss feels the need to disclose that things are not going well for him and his wife. She is pleased that he shows some restraint because there are certain mental images that she can really live without, the thought of Ed and sex is enough to make her want to find a way to disinfect her brain. Still, she is nothing if not shrewd and as disturbing as the situation may be it does offer her the opportunity to do something about altering Ed’s priorities and to potentially decrease his desire to spend all of his, and indirectly her, time at work. Leading Ed to this conclusion isn’t easy though, she has a hard time shifting the word association in his head that clearly equates sex with hookers but eventually he does seem to take a small step in the right direction.

Her prodding does not result in significant progress, she enters his office the following day hoping that Ed will give her permission to go home but he again requests that she stay back because it would appear that he is inherently incapable of bringing the smut. It is clearly time for small words and visual aids and so she starts a step by step tutorial in the art of online seduction. This is apparently more effort that he is willing to apply to his relationship and he deserts her in favour of a minor work crisis, leaving her with the task of turning on his wife. She feels uncomfortable doing this for Ed, it certainly breaches all sorts of boundaries in the employer-employee relationship but it’s to her advantage and it’s not as though it’s something that she is incapable of. It’s not like it’s hard for her, it’s not like it’s even an abstract concept. She kind of enjoys having this sense of power and control, she is less certain how she feels about the fact that she is picturing Bree while attempting to seduce her bosses wife. Mrs Ferrara doesn’t respond in the way that Bree would but Lynette is able to make do and she is mildly disappointed that the exercise doesn’t last and that Fran succumbs long before Bree would have.

She really should have learnt to try not to manipulate the people around her because it invariably ends badly. She felt that she was doing the right thing for both Ed and herself, that she had handed sex to Ed on a silver platter and that things would subsequently improve for both of them but instead she has apparently caused Ed excruciating pain and threatened his marriage. She had wanted to ask him how he could have screwed this up but that ceased to be a priority when she learnt that her actions mean that Ed has told his wife that Tom was responsible and that he is her husband’s job is in the firing line. She may not have wanted to work with Tom, may have been worried about the strain that it would place on their marriage but he got the job and she had been determined to support him. She is not sure that she can live with the knowledge that she may have ruined Tom’s career for a second time. Between torpedoing his promotion and her affair with Bree, her burden of guilt is already huge; she really can’t afford to add to it. 

That night, in bed, Tom seems uncharacteristically concerned by her lack of enthusiasm, “Do you want me to stop?”

“No you’re fine, I’m just really tired.”

“Ed has been riding your ass lately hasn’t he?”

“I’d prefer that we not talk about our boss while we’re in bed.”

“But you’re okay with me talking about your ass, aren’t you?”

“I’d prefer that we either talked or had sex, I don’t think I have the energy for both.”

“Most women like it when their husbands talk to them.”

“Most husbands would prefer a wife who lies quietly and lets them have their way with her.”

“I’m not complaining I just wanted to check that things were okay with you.”

“Honey, I’m fine, exhausted but fine.”

“We can just sleep if you want.”

“If you want sex you can go ahead,” she is hardly going to deny him this given that she has likely lost him his job, “just don’t expect much activity from me.”

Tom seems content with her half-hearted green light and sets to work. His ministrations help to quiet the rogue voices in her head but not to silence them completely. It’s hard to assuage her guilt when she is having sex with Tom, in large part, because of it. Tom is a little less understanding when she halts proceedings because she thinks she’s heard a gun shot. She can appreciate his position, she wouldn’t like to be shut down it she was in his present state of arousal. “Lynette it’s probably nothing, at worst a car might have backfired, this in not gangland USA, we live in suburbia.”

“Tom, I don’t know where you’ve been living for the last few years but I’ve been on Wisteria Lane, it’s virtually crime central here.”

“This is not a murder capital.”

“Tell that to Mrs Huber. I think it was a gun and I think it came from Bree’s.”

“Sometimes I think you care more about your friends than me, you might as well be married to Bree given the amount of time you spend with her.”

“I’ve proposed, she’s not interested,” it’s flippant enough that Tom takes it as a sarcastic comment.

“We should work on a way to change her mind, if you married her it would solve all our babysitting issues, we’d be well fed and the place would be cleaner than it’s ever been. If she won’t marry you maybe she’d marry me, I’ve told you I’ve seen her checking me out when I pick up the paper, we could really use that to our advantage.” She ignores Tom statements because she can’t think about a world where she’s married to Bree anymore than she can think about a world in which Bree marries someone else. Instead she focuses on putting her clothes back on. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going downstairs to see what I can see.”

“What do you expect to find?”

“I don’t know, I feel like I have to do something, what if we were in trouble and everyone just ignored it?”

“So you think if you go downstairs and stare at a house you’ll win some karmic points?” She pushes past him and heads downstairs, she is standing at the window watching the Van de Kamp residence when Tom joins her and encircles her waist with his arms, “So have you managed to solve the mystery and bring law and order back to our troubled little street.”

“I can’t see anything.”

“How long are you going to stand here?”

“I would probably come back to bed sooner if you went over there and checked things out.”

“You want me to go and risk my life confronting an insane axe murderer?”

“Traditionally the axe murdering types don’t go around toting guns.”

“No but your NRA member of a friend does and rumour has it that she a problem with alcohol.”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” she really wishes that she could stop defending Bree to her husband but right now there is nothing that she can do about it because she is terrified that Bree could be injured. The thought of Bree being hurt is enough to make her reconsider all the problems that caused her to tell Bree that it was over, nothing in this life is certain, she really shouldn’t waste time that she could be spending with Bree. She has decided that she needs to know that Bree is alright and is the process of extricating herself from Tom’s arms when she sees Bree walk out of the house. Bree looks shaken but, thankfully, uninjured and for a fleeting moment she believes that Bree is coming to her for help but that hope dies as she watches the redhead make a path to the Applewhite house. 

Tom rests his chin on her shoulder, “Is the crisis over now?”

“I guess so.”

“Can we go back to bed?”

“Well I feel a lot more awake now, I can probably be a little more active.”

“Whatever you want baby,” he replies as he squats her on the ass and pushes her up the stairs. She really wishes that he hadn’t selected that moment to refer to her as baby because he has now guaranteed that she is going to be having sex with him whilst thinking about Bree.


End file.
